Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Judit walks away

Telling open letter to the ‘conductive community’

Last week report of Judit Szathmáry’s withdrawal of her blog Sourcesence (Sutton, 2009) was written in the hopeful expectation that her action was a matter of her blog alone.

Judit has given permission to publish an amalgam of notes that she has sent in response to the enquiries of concerned friends.

I am OK.

Thank you all for your concern. Nobody particular upset me. It has been a long process of seeing, hearing, observing CE and the conductive community worldwide as a whole. My action was purely a change within, and my action might raise a few questions in the mind of others (hopefully)…

I removed the blog as I felt that there is no support in the conductive community and I made a conscience decision to take a break from it all.

I also decided to take better care of my health, enjoy life and divert my focus towards more rewarding activities. Really it is not a big deal. This is just one of those everyday choices of preferences.

I was satisfied about the number of hits on Sourcesence and I had some amazing responses from a few conductor It wasn’t about the number of dots on my visitor’s map and it wasn’t about conductors. That would not have stopped me. It was about the whole conductive community, how and where it is going. I gave my best throughout many years of my involvement with CE (known and unknown). I put my money where my mouth was, literally.

What I learned at Pető is not what I see. It is being understood and developed further throughout the world. The exploitation of CE was clear from the beginning and now it is a damn right disaster. There comes a point when one doesn’t want to be part of it at all.

I have taken stock, reassessed things and came to a point and a conclusion that it is time to move my focus. The future is unknown. Really it is not a big deal. This is now just one of those everyday choices of preferences.

People’s individual agendas have been served for far too long. ‘take it or leave it’ came to mind and I chose the latter. It was not an easy decision, I went to the beach on Sunday and the choice came clear within. That’s all. I made the first step, now it is up to other people to contribute what they can and want to do They may choose to carry on with things as they are, or they may choose to wake up and listen to their hearts and connect their minds with something more rewarding and constructive.

I just wish I could communicate with like-minded people who really mean what they say. I am tired of bubbles and puffs and all this nonsense.

I really don’t want to spend more time on this subject. This is just one of the many choices we make every day as we select our preferences. Nothing more or nothing less. I am reaching out to select some new, exciting and inspiring activities from the repertoires of the forever-abundant Universe.

Take care.

Love,

Judit.

I understand, just how you feel

Thank you so much for expressing your feelings so clearly and permitting me to share this more widely. I think that I understand just how you feel. The following is how I feel, anyway.

Conductive Education like every revolution has shown a tendency to eat its children, to disappoint and elbow out its Old Guard, and to generate its own new ‘elite’ to inherit its little Earth. And as is also familiar in the bigger, wilder world, it maintains selected extracts of the founding rhetoric for consumption by hoi polloi, while adhering in reality ever closer to the forms and ideologies that it set out originally to supplant.

People have been expressing to me their personal versions of this view of the contemporary scene in Conductive Education, with increasing regularity and with growing force. I am sure that I am not the first to call to mind George Orwell’s Animal Farm.

I am institutionally out of it now and, let me assure you, distance certainly lends perspective, foreshortening events and revealing embedded patterns.

I shall not myself be walking away, not in the immediate short term anyay. After all, the world of Conductive Education is a microcosm, a soap opera, a stage of which it is sometimes so easy to watch familiar human dramas acted out, sometimes with a grotesque clarity not always granted in bigger, wider worlds.

And, entertainment aside, there is the deadly serious question of the survival of the heritage, the dream, the hope and the passion for transformative pedagogy that Conductive Education (not uniquely) represents. Beneath all the nonsense of the inrastructure (the 'conductive community'), buried beneath all the things that have made you despair there still burns the vital human truth. I shall continue for the time-being to brush aside some of the hot ash that the combustion creates around itself, and try to blow in a little oxygen to help keep the fire alive.

As I believe I have already expressed here on Conductive World, I have set Christmas 2010 for my own personal exit point. I do hope that long before then you, Judit, and others feeling the same, will be finding your own terms of re-engagement. It will be most interesting over the year and a half that I have granted myself to note other movements into and out of the world of Conductive Education.

And it will also be interesting to see whether my own prognostications will be fulfilled about the immediately foreseeable future of this particular Animal Farm:
  • that the present situation will be self-limiting
  • if for no other reason out of its own inner contradictions
  • almost certainly rushed upon us by the imperatives of economic history.

Note and reference

Judit, let a Golden Oldie sing you to your rest
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIh9rrTII2Y&feature=PlayList&p=7DF8AB76796E60F4&index=0&playnext=1

Sutton, A. (2009) Requiescat Sourcesence: Judit Szathmáry withdraws from CE blogosphere, Conductive World, 30 May
http://www.conductive-world.info/2009/05/requiescat-sourcesence.html




1 comment:

  1. Yes, I understand Judit totally and do not blame her at all.
    I am very sorry to hear this news, anyway. I personally had time only to read her blog. I believe many did the same. Good luck to Judit in her silence.

    ReplyDelete