Thursday, 13 October 2011

Important – VERY important

That's what it's all about

From Belgium, parent Fabien Gillard blogs –

A few days ago I was at my stepfather 's birthday party. Surrounded by his friends and family, he was celebrating his 65 years. And when time came for speeches, his wife of 25 years (my mother) took the floor.The content of her speech has no place here but her conclusion has resonated deeply inside me. 'We know that well-being is not the end of the road, it is the road'.

And there you have it, one sentence and it said everything, everything made sense.

I have to admit that I have almost always seen Mano's developments in terms of his acquiring maximum independence. And I have told myself that it is this independence that lies at the end of the road, that this is its objective and its reason for being.
Thinking in this way, however, I condemn myself to be always disappointed and worried by the road still to travel. I condemn myself to seeing only obstacles and difficulties ahead, I condemn myself to sadness that the objective has not been attained.

Today I realised that this view is wrong. I understand now that the 'road' is not to be compared (and then contrasted) with any kind of final objective; I understand that the road, and the very notion of 'being on the road' are actually to be tied to the status quo, to stop. The success and effectiveness of an individual project based on Conductive Education are not to be evaluated in relation to achieving an ultimate objective (for example, the child's independence). The success and effectiveness of such projects are not to be evaluated by the number of things not yet done in relation to an initial situation.

By changing my viewpoint, I have lifted an immense weight from my heart. I no longer say that Mano is still far short of the objective that I have set him; I say to myself that he is already a long way from from the situation at the time of his initial accident.
His road no longer strikes me as strewn with obstacles that are incredibly hard (and potentially impossible to overcome), but one of important victories already gained. I no longer ask myself (less often, anyway) where his steps are leading but rather joyfully to contemplate the steps alrady run. And in this context, the sense is everywhere. Each step is a victory, a joy, an advance, a success.

To put it all this simply: the sense is not to arrive at the end of the road, but to move forward, each at one's own pace, on this one here.

'Important. VERY important' – but to whom?
  • For anyone who seeking to understand András Pető and his Heilung
  • For all those contemplating conductive upbringing for their child and their family
  • For anybody seeking to understand Conductive Education
  • For all those who try to explain it
  • And for all those concerned with 'research'.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. THANK YOU. True gem. (Although I'm maniacally concerned about research and I would love to defend my viewpoint, but I only have one minute right now.)